Never look back; it only makes you salty.

No, I didn’t just do something drastic … except that I walked out of Kohl’s for the last time today and, if switching over my direct deposit goes into effect immediately, the same goes for my credit union. I just thought of that seemingly trite and religiously overtoned statement as I almost considered wandering around the housewares one last time, having one final conversation with the people who probably would have become my friends if I enjoyed working at Kohl’s, giving my old bank an umpteenth second chance.

All in all, since a few days before a thinly-veiled series of entries around Jan. 11, I’ve had to make a lot of hard choices this year and, at this point, I have no regrets.

I’m not done yet.

R.I.P. Erin 1994-2003

Damn the consequences. I’m bone dead tired. Other than last weekend, which doesn’t count because I was traveling the whole time, I haven’t had two days in a row to rest and do stuff in my house since early June. I really haven’t even been home because I work for 12 hours some days. I made the $500 back. I don’t care anymore. I’m not going back to Kohl’s although I’m scheduled to work today, Saturday, Sunday, Thursday and next Saturday.

I just can’t do it anymore. Mandy made me go back after lunch yesterday and I left an hour early. I used to say that I hated Admissions but now I know what it really feels like to hate one’s job. So much for asking Jennifer out because I’m not going back. I plan on not setting foot in that store ever again.

I’m so tired, I completely forgot that I was waiting for a green light twice on my way to Admissions, and, if there were a curb at J. Clyde and Jefferson, I would have jumped it as I made a sorry excuse for a left turn. I don’t think I can take getting home at 11 p.m., eating dinner then having to go to bed immediately so I can wake up at 8 a.m. to work from 10 a.m. to 10:30 p.m. any longer. The fact that doing hardlines recovery in Kohl’s is the stupidest job ever didn’t help.

After I leave Admissions, I’m taking a nap at The Ranch, going home to eat dinner and revise this and something that isn’t working at Kohl’s.

First off, Kohl’s is purposely playing indie music (the non-written-by-a-crazy-man jazz I listen to and basically all of “Dear Catastrophe Waitress”). Yeah, if I weren’t on my way out of there, I don’t think I could look at myself in the mirror in the morning anymore. They also have a remix of ♪She Blinded Me With Science♪ they play constantly that is part of an ad campaign. It is the worst remix in the history of the world. No, it is the worst remix in the history of time. If P. Diddy heard it, he would regret inventing the remix.

In hell, you must play an game that is a combination of Tetris and Jenga. It is called reorganizing the shoe department of Kohl’s.

Does anyone see the irony of me working in the shoe department today after I dropped a glass and a shard stabbed me in the top of the foot on Wednesday? Anyone think that it’s odd that I made a post about getting cut on the foot on a piece of glass a year ago next Wednesday?

Anyway, I’m going to take a break from this for a couple of three days for reasons talked about in the previous entry. I must decide if being a “blogger” (was it really necessary to create this word?) will be entirely too detrimental to having any sort of journalism career. I could just be an editor of non-newspaper things but I don’t know where in the crap I’d start with that. Or I could just not go on periodic rants about stuff that could harm my employer like saying capitalist swine and stuff like that. Or I’ll stop updating. Either way, something must be changed. Regardless of what I decide to do, this journal shall not be deleted. I’ll let you know of my decision presently.

Good evening. This is Your ‘umble Narrator with the … eh … 10:24 news.

Today’s top story: I’m putting in my two weeks’ notice next week. Any views expressed in this report do not necessarily reflect my current or future views nor do they reflect the views of anyone/any entity with whom/with which I am affiliated.

I finally fully realized why I hate working at Kohl’s: I’ve sold out. That store stands for everything I’m against. I may as well be working at That Which SAM WALTON Hath Made.

I’m surrounded by consumerism every day there. It’s not about customer service — it’s about making a buck as quickly as possible. That also includes there being one or two people being the official associates for Boys, Girls, Infants, Toys, Cards, Seasonal, Frames, Home Accessories, Rugs, Bed Linens, Bath, Housewares, Cookware, Small Electronics, Luggage, Lingerie, Accessories and technically Shoes. Yes, there was a day where I ran all of those departments (technically not shoes). But that isn’t why I can’t work there anymore. It’s the periodic message on the PA to get a charge account; the sales to get people to buy stuff they don’t need; the … the … just being around idiotic, capitalist consumer whores who can’t put things back where they got them irks me. I’m fine with like office supply stores or toy stores or small shops but I can’t do this whole being just another number to a big, bloated, capitalist corporate pig-dog thing. I’ll make back all the money I lost from E.T. Lawson in about a week and my speeding ticket the week after. After that, what I get in Admissions will be fine. I was going to stay after classes started but this is it: I’m out by August 20.

As a side note, they did give me Saturday off next week. I don’t know about Sunday yet. It doesn’t matter because I’m about to not work there anymore.

Next up: why I shouldn’t work in a fitting room.

So I was taking the clothes out of the boys’ fitting room today … there’s mirrors everywhere … like there’s one place where you can see about 270 degrees of yourself. Of course, I wasted about 10 minutes in there looking at myself. I wasn’t kidding when I said I was narcissistic.

Thank you me. And now, our exclusive: why you should wash your clothes before you wear them.

I’ll cut to the chase. That “new clothes smell” is what fabric smells like when it’s a newly made shirt but, for example, go to North Carolina and smell a cotton boll. Yep, your shirt is chemical fresh. Once your clothes and towels get to a store, they’re thrown about the stockroom before they’re put on the shelves, the often fall on the floor (which is clean but not sparkling clean), get tried on and tested on the sales floor, fall on the sales floor, get bought and returned and who knows what else. The same for bed linens. Although they’re in that zippered package, people take them out and look at them. Don’t worry: we don’t resell returned bed linens but, if you want some for really cheap, go to thrift stores — some of the stuff there that looks really new came from department stores that have strict policies about returned clothes and bed stuff.

After this commercial break, we’ll have Agendum Three.

So far it looks like I’ll be working at Kohl’s Friday-Sunday. I knew that would probably happen but therein lies a problem: As I wanted to before I had to pay $425 for an oil bill, I should have made all my trips this month. It’s still possible for my birthday activities on Saturday because I get off at 8. Working both jobs should be fine but I’ll be working for nine days straight (if you count Admissions) next week. I’m going to have to pick a day in the week at Admissions to create a weekend. I’ll work something out later.

But yeah, the problem. If I work weekends, how am I going to do White Castle and visit Ambers? Well, Ambers is coming next week so, although I want to tackle 58 and see her, I don’t have to do it and/or I have to take in account Ambers working and the fact that Amber wants to come with me before I say that I’m coming like or a Tuesday or something. The same goes for White Castle — I’ll have to find out if anyone can go in the middle of the week. I don’t have a lot to go on yet because I don’t know if I have a set schedule yet. This is going to get very complicated.

But I have a new job, I’m leaving Admissions soon and I have a party to plan.