You have to see this in person.


For the past three years, I occasionally become intrigued by a collection of food and drink photos in what apparently was an old break room in my newspaper building’s basement. When I first asked about them, I didn’t get a straight answer about their origin. My response after that was something along the lines of, “Well, it was the ’80s. I guess we can be thankful it doesn’t look like The Max.”

I haven’t thought about that room in a while, since we haven’t had a new reporter in a while. Typically, I make them walk around that giant building with me during their first week, because parts of it are weird and creepy and they barely know who I am.

A couple hours ago, I got an email from someone in San Francisco who was doing a reverse image search of these bananas.

This shit is bananas ...


An identical print is in his office, and he also was intrigued. So he wanted to know what I knew about them.

Now I’m intrigued all over again, since my response was “Um … kitsch?”

I really want the assortment of cheeses photo

One day, I will learn of your secrets.

I didn’t do a good job of cropping the color image. As I should have gone to bed 2½ hours ago, I really don’t care.

no tigers were harmed in the making of this entry

It’s 2014, the veritable future. We use our phones to play games, write messages to people and talk to the device, not on.

Since we’re just mere decades away from the melting icecaps leading us to build Orbit City stilt condos and flying cars, I decided early on that paper is archaic for wedding invitations on my side. (It’s also so much cheaper, and it’s not like everyone I know under 63 doesn’t have an email address.) I created pages with pertinent info and then complemented it with online invitations.  I thought I was going to do that with everyone.


It’s not a happy, shiny, paperless future yet.

And good thing too, because newspapers haven’t completely figured out how to digitize.

I’m going to Staples this week and making some paper invites on card stock. I have to buy more than I need, but the price isn’t that bad for a small quantity. I also wish I had InDesign like I did on LSW4, but I’ll make do.

On the bright side, I’ll have extras to give to select people, and a copy to keep for myself. In retrospect, it’s sorta like how I’m still a fan of CDs.

One day, after I’m mauled to death by a tiger than is on fire (Seriously, if I have to choose my death, I want to go knowing that people can say “He was killed by a flaming tiger. No. Really! A Bengal tiger that was burning to death ripped him in half before they both went in a blaze of glory.”), this site will expire because the Internet is not forever. (Who am I kidding? If my great-grandfather had a combusting tiger devour him in their last act, I’d keep his website running at all costs.) But anyway, our electronic invites would be nothing but a vague memory by the death throes of the 21st century. My great-grandchildren then, though, will be able to dig through a box of things and  find a record of one of the events that led to them existing.

I wonder if they’d mangle pronouncing “paper” like my nephew Tré attempting to say “cassette.”